Sparky’s Column

The League stars

 

The Super Cup ushers in the start of a new season and it was great to watch it with English commentary. Brian Murgatroyd brought the unique language of a commentator to UAE television. The great sayings that have been passed down from Father commentator to Son commentator were fully in evidence. Some of the phrases can be a bit difficult to understand, so let me be your guide through the world of commentator speak. NB all the below phrases were used during the Super Cup match between Al Jazira and Al Wahda.

 

"Khalid Essa has earned his corn there" means Al Jazira's goalkeeper Khalid Essa has produced a number of saves that mean he is worthy of his wages this week.

 

"Ismaeil Matar gets a gig" means Ismaeil Matar has entered the field of play as a substitute.

 

"It's anyone's game!" does not mean a random team can enter the pitch, it actually means that either Al Jazira or Al Wahda will win this particular match

 

"We just need someone to put it in the onion bag" means a goal needs to be scored hastily.

 

"Bragging rights" means the opportunity of one set of fans to feel superior to the opposing set of fans due to their teams winning performance

 

"It's a great advert for UAE football" means the game is of sufficient quality to merit a mention from the commentator of its aforementioned quality

 

"Blood and thunder" means both teams are playing the game in a forthright manner bordering on aggressive.

 

The biggest news of the week for UAE football broke in the North East of England, Sunderland to be exact. Asamoah Gyan's transfer to Al Ain was the main topic of Steve Bruce's post match press conference. The Sunderland manager was incredulous when speaking about the loan deal after the game. He was assured by the player 48 hours prior to the transfer that he wanted to stay at the Stadium of Light. Bruce was scathing of a player that wanted to leave the best league in the world during the prime of his career. Regardless of the opinion it now means the UAE has the strongest contingent of foreigners in its history. We have Grafite a Bundesliga winner with Wolfsburg, Lucas Neil who spent 15 years in the Premier League, Mark Bresciano at Al Nasr played his football in Serie A for Lazio, David Trezeguet a Euro Championship winner and to complete a stella lineup Asamoah Gyan of Ghana.

 

The Etisalat Cup starts in earnest this weekend and all eyes will be on Maradona as Al Wasl visit champions Al Jazira. The press conference midweek was the usual clamour for Maradona's time. The question or rather the answer that stood out for the Argentinian was a response to a question about why his days as a club coach were so short-lived. The response gave the reporter short shrift for questioning his credentials. "I only spent 2 months and 4 months as a club manager for one reason, they did not pay me. Argentina is a place that often falls into financial crisis. This means people don't get paid but you would not understand this because you have not lived in Argentina have you?" The assembled press know they are dealing with a manager who says it how it is. Roll on the new season and those post match press conferences.